Saturday, May 14, 2011
The Mountain of God Part Two
Moses and I began our climb into the presence of Father. The moment I stepped on the mountain I was made aware of just how inadequate I was. My life began to unfold before my eyes and my heart was flooded with images from the past.
Yet during all these years God had upheld me with his mercy, I had been a missionary to India and Haiti. I had also been a pastor, volunteer chaplain in a jail, and evangelist. Then had come what I call the Journal years. This was a period of time from October of 1992 until December of 1995 when I first was brought into Fathers presence and beheld heaven and its wonders. Jesus taught me and my best friend about the deep things of God and I gained an understanding of both him and Father on a personal level that was the joy of my heart.
I also became aware of how smug and proud I had been. It was more a subconscense thing than anything else. Yet here on this holy mountain what on earth had seemed of little consequence was shown to me here as God sees it. How many times had I unknowingly at the time looked down on those who did not have the spiritual sensitivity that I did. Memories of impatience with this one or that one because they interrupted my train of thought, or because they had said or done something that fed my impatience filled my mind. All the little people that I had not made time for in my rush to move and do my own thing. In so many ways I had failed him or others. With each step I took I was reminded again and again how in the light of where I now stood on his mountain how much I had to learn.
Yet I was not filled with condemnation or guilt. God was showing me my life and as the memories of failure came to me they were somehow cleansed and removed from me in a way I cannot explain. It was apparent that my past replete as it was with so many mistakes was being dealt with in such a way that it would not be allowed to interfere with Gods great purposes now.
The way up the mountain was steep and the terrain was rocky and had no visible growth that I could see. Moses and I stopped and leaned against a big boulder for a moment.
He looked at me intently and said “ Michael here the thoughts, actions, and deeds of our lives are both seen as they were in Gods eyes and nullified so that they cannot hinder us again. Father is not showing you these things to hinder you but rather to prepare you to be a vessel of humility in his sight. Only those who see themselves as he does can see him as he is. As we view ourselves as broken and unworthy only then can Fathers great power and anointing fill our lives. He resists the proud but lifts the humble”.
With this he turned and began to climb upward again and I far freer in spite of my shortcomings followed.